While writhing and twisting on my bed, I felt terribly pissed off at Sverker. Why is he not here?

Hey! That's selfish! I know -

I miss my friend. In these darkened hours, when mere breathing becomes a fucking torture. Where do I keep this bloody agitation? And all these people around me - they don't give a shit. I do what I do best - I retreat quietly, smiling. The longing for my friend is wrapped around my heart - I pray for his happiness.

You were our night ferry

thudding in a big sea

the whole craft ringing

with an armourer's music

the course set wilfully across

the ungovernable and dangerous

- Elegy